Posted by We all tell ourselves stories. They shape how we see our past, navigate the present, and imagine the future. But what happens when those stories feel more like cages than guides? I’ve been there. During a tough period in my life, everything seemed framed by failure and disappointment. Then, my therapist asked me a question that changed everything: “Is that the only story you can tell about your life?” That’s when I discovered narrative therapy, a powerful approach to mental health that helps you rewrite your story.
What Is Narrative Therapy?
Narrative therapy, developed in the 1980s by Michael White and David Epston, is all about separating yourself from your problems. Instead of saying, “I am a depressed person,” you learn to say, “I am a person experiencing depression.” It’s a small shift, but it makes a huge difference. This approach, called “externalizing the problem,” helps you see your struggles as something you can work on, not something that defines you.
The core idea? You are not your problems. Your life is made up of many stories, and while some might feel heavy, there are always others waiting to be uncovered. Narrative therapy helps you find those hidden stories, the ones where you’ve shown resilience, courage, or creativity and bring them to light.
How It Works: Rewriting My Story
Narrative therapy starts by exploring how the stories we tell ourselves are shaped by the world around us. Think about it: our families, cultures, and societies all influence how we see ourselves. For me, I’d always been labeled “the anxious one.” Narrative therapy helped me question that label and ask, “Is that really all there is to me?”
One of the most powerful tools in this approach is finding “unique outcomes” moments when you’ve acted in ways that don’t fit the problem story. For example, I remembered times when I spoke up despite my anxiety or choose kindness over anger. These moments might seem small, but they’re like cracks in the wall of your old narrative, letting in light for a new story to grow.
What I love most about narrative therapy is how collaborative it feels. My therapist wasn’t there to fix me but to help me uncover the stories I’d overlooked. It’s a process that honors your expertise about your own life, and that’s incredibly empowering.
Why It Matters: A Path to Healing
Narrative therapy isn’t just about individual healing it also looks at the bigger picture. Our personal stories are shaped by social and cultural systems, and this approach helps us question those influences. For me, it’s been transformative. Learning to see myself as the author of my story, rather than just a character in it, has helped me break free from limiting narratives.
At its heart, narrative therapy is about respect for your dignity, your agency, and your ability to create meaning. It reminds us that while we can’t always change our circumstances, we can change how we store them. And that shift can open up a world of possibilities.
If you’re feeling stuck in a narrative that no longer serves you, remember this: Your life is not a single story. It’s a rich, complex anthology, and you hold the pen. What story will you tell next?
References
White, M., & Epston, D. (1990). Narrative means to therapeutic ends. W.W. Norton & Company.
National Institute of Mental Health. (2023). Psychotherapies. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/psychotherapies
American Psychological Association. (2022). Narrative therapy. https://www.apa.org/pti/programs/narrative-therapy
Combs, G., & Freedman, J. (2016). Narrative Therapy’s Relational Understanding of Identity. Family Process, 55(2), 211-224.