Posted by Finding the right therapist is like finding the right doctor, mechanic, or financial advisor. It’s about finding someone who can effectively help you solve your problems. While switching therapists might feel awkward or like giving up, it’s actually a normal part of the therapeutic process for many people. The key is knowing when a change is warranted versus when to stick it out.
Clear Signs It’s Time to Switch
You’re not seeing any progress after a reasonable time period. This is perhaps the most straightforward indicator. If you’ve been consistently attending sessions for three to six months and feel stuck in the same patterns without meaningful improvement, it may be time to consider other options. Good therapy should produce some noticeable changes in your thinking, feelings, or behaviors within this timeframe.
Your therapist consistently seems unprepared or disengaged. Professional therapy requires focus and preparation. Does your therapist frequently forget important details from previous sessions? Do they seem distracted during appointments, or does it feel like they’re going through the motions? You’re not getting the quality of care you deserve.
You feel judged or misunderstood. A fundamental requirement of effective therapy is feeling safe and accepted. If your therapist makes you feel criticized, dismissed, or like they simply don’t understand your perspective despite your efforts to explain it, the therapeutic relationship isn’t working.
Your therapist lacks expertise in your specific issues. Not all therapists are equipped to handle every type of problem. Dealing with trauma, addiction, eating disorders, or other specialized concerns? Working with someone who lacks relevant training or experience can actually slow your progress.
Professional boundaries are being crossed. This includes anything from inappropriate personal disclosure by your therapist to suggestions of friendship or romantic involvement. Professional boundaries exist to protect you and maintain the therapeutic relationship.
When to Give It More Time
You’re experiencing normal therapeutic discomfort. Good therapy often involves discussing difficult topics and challenging unhelpful patterns. Feeling uncomfortable, anxious, or even resistant during sessions can be part of the process. This is especially true in the beginning.
You’re making gradual progress. Change in therapy typically happens slowly and unevenly. Can you identify small but meaningful improvements in your life? Even if progress feels slower than you’d like, this suggests the therapy is working.
You haven’t given the relationship enough time to develop. Building trust and rapport with a therapist takes time. Most professionals recommend giving a therapeutic relationship at least four to six sessions before making a decision, unless there are serious red flags.
Your therapist has acknowledged concerns and is working to address them. Have you raised issues about the therapy process? If your therapist has responded professionally and made genuine efforts to adjust their approach, this shows good therapeutic engagement.
How to Make the Switch
Be direct about your decision. You don’t need to provide an exhaustive explanation, but letting your current therapist know you’re ending treatment allows for proper closure and transition planning.
Ask for referrals. Your current therapist may be able to recommend colleagues who specialize in your specific needs or use different therapeutic approaches that might be more effective for you.
Don’t therapy-hop impulsively. While switching therapists can be appropriate, constantly changing providers without giving relationships time to develop can actually hinder progress. Take time to reflect on what worked and what didn’t before starting fresh.
Consider your specific needs. Use your experience to identify what type of therapist might be a better fit. This might involve different credentials, therapeutic approaches, communication styles, or demographic factors that feel important to you.
The Bottom Line
Switching therapists isn’t a failure. It’s taking responsibility for your mental health care. Just as you wouldn’t continue seeing a doctor who wasn’t helping your physical health, you shouldn’t feel obligated to stick with a therapist who isn’t meeting your needs.
The therapeutic relationship is a professional service relationship, and you have every right to expect competent, engaged, and effective care. Trust your instincts, but also be patient with the process. Sometimes the right therapeutic fit makes all the difference in achieving the changes you’re seeking.
Remember that finding the right therapist might take some time, but the investment in finding someone who can truly help you is worth the effort. Your mental health deserves the same level of care and attention you’d give to any other important aspect of your wellbeing.
References
Flückiger, C., Del Re, A. C., Wampold, B. E., & Horvath, A. O. (2018). The alliance in adult psychotherapy: A meta-analytic synthesis. Psychotherapy, 55(4), 316-340.
Norcross, J. C., & Lambert, M. J. (2018). Psychotherapy relationships that work III. Psychotherapy, 55(4), 303-315.
Swift, J. K., & Greenberg, R. P. (2012). Premature discontinuation in adult psychotherapy: A meta-analysis. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 80(4), 547-559.
Wierzbicki, M., & Pekarik, G. (1993). A meta-analysis of psychotherapy dropout. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 24(2), 190-195.