Posted by I spent years believing my thoughts were facts. If I thought someone was angry at me, I assumed they were. If I thought I was going to fail, I believed I would. If I thought I was unlovable, I accepted it as truth. I had no idea that my brain was filtering reality through a distorted lens. I had no idea that my thoughts were habits, not truths.
Cognitive distortions are patterns of thinking that are inaccurate and biased. They are the brain’s way of convincing us of something that is not true. These patterns often become automatic and reinforce negative thinking, leading to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Everyone experiences them occasionally, but when they become frequent, they can significantly impact mental health.
The first distortion I recognized was all-or-nothing thinking. I saw everything in black and white. If I made a mistake at work, I was a complete failure. If my partner did not respond enthusiastically to my idea, they must not care about me. I was either perfect or worthless, with no middle ground. I learned that life is rarely binary. Most situations exist in the gray area, and that is okay.
Catastrophizing was my brain’s favorite sport. I would imagine the worst-case scenario and convince myself it was inevitable. A minor health symptom became a terminal illness. A delayed email became a sign that I was about to be fired. I learned to ask myself, “What is the most realistic outcome?” The answer was almost never the catastrophe I had imagined.
Mind reading was another common distortion. I assumed I knew what others were thinking, and I always assumed it was negative. A coworker who walked by without speaking must be angry at me. A friend who did not text back quickly must be avoiding me. I had no evidence for these assumptions. I was projecting my own insecurity onto others. I learned to remind myself that I cannot know what someone else is thinking, and I should not assume the worst.
Overgeneralization was harder to catch. I would take a single negative event and see it as a never-ending pattern. If I failed a test, I was bad at everything. If a relationship ended, I would always be alone. I learned to look for counterexamples. Was there any time I succeeded? Was there any relationship that did not end? The evidence usually contradicted my overgeneralized belief.
Emotional reasoning was another subtle distortion. I assumed my emotions reflected reality. If I felt stupid, I must be stupid. If I felt anxious, something must be wrong. I learned that feelings are not facts. They are valid and real, but they are not reliable indicators of truth. I can feel anxious and still be safe. I can feel inadequate and still be capable.
I also engaged in labeling, which is a form of overgeneralization. Instead of saying, “I made a mistake,” I said, “I am a failure.” Instead of saying, “They acted unfairly,” I said, “They are a terrible person.” Labeling reduces complex situations to simple, negative judgments. I learned to describe my observations instead of judging myself or others.
One of the most effective tools for addressing cognitive distortions is cognitive-behavioral therapy. CBT helps identify, challenge, and replace distorted thinking with more accurate, balanced thoughts. I started keeping a thought record. When I noticed a negative thought, I wrote it down. Then I identified the distortion, looked for evidence against it, and wrote a more balanced alternative. It felt mechanical at first, but it rewired my brain over time.
I also learned to externalize my negative self-talk. Instead of saying, “I am an idiot,” I said, “I am having the thought that I am an idiot.” That small shift created distance between me and my thoughts. I could observe them without being consumed by them.
Changing cognitive distortions is not about toxic positivity. It is not about pretending everything is fine. It is about seeing reality more clearly and treating yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend. The thought patterns that have been running your life are not permanent. They are habits, and habits can be broken.
There is so much more to learn about recognizing and changing distorted thinking. Our website is filled with articles on cognitive-behavioral therapy, thought records, and building a healthier mindset. Head over and explore, because the voice in your head is not always telling the truth.
References
Harvard Health Publishing. (2022, May 3). *How to recognize and tame your cognitive distortions*. https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/how-to-recognize-and-tame-your-cognitive-distortions-202205042738
Medical News Today. (2023, November 28). *Cognitive distortions: What they are, types, and how to change them*. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/cognitive-distortions
Cleveland Clinic. (2025, August 18). *What are cognitive distortions? 8 examples*. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/cognitive-distortions
Healthline. (2019, December 17). *Cognitive distortions: 10 examples of distorted thinking*. https://www.healthline.com/health/cognitive-distortions
PositivePsychology.com. (2025, February 24). *Cognitive distortions: 15 examples & worksheets (PDF)*.